Season One

#1 - The Pilot

Debra asks Ray to keep his parents away from her birthday party for a change. Ray agrees, but lies to his family, saying there'll be no party for Debra.

#2 - I Love You

Debra asks Ray why he can't say "I love you." Ray talks to his parents, trying to get to the root of his problem.

#3 - I Wish I Were Gus

Ray's Uncle Gus dies, and his will states that Ray, who fears speaking in public, is to read a eulogy. Meanwhile, Marie is upset because her estranged sister, Alda, is coming to the funeral.

#4 - Standard Deviation

Robert gets Ray and Debra to take an IQ test. Debra scores fifteen points higher than Ray: She is in a whole higher class of brains. The next day, Robert says the made a mistake. It was actually Ray who scored higher.

#5 - Look, Don't Touch

Ray feels guilty for being attracted to a gorgeous new waitrees at Nemo's. Debra makes Ray take her there, where Ray tries too hard to appear normal.

#6 - Frank the Writer

After Reader's Digest publishes one of Frank's funny stories, he starts to consider himself a writer. To Ray's horror, Frank asks him to pass a sample column on to his editor.

#7 - Your place or Mine

After a fight with Frank, Marie moves in with Ray and Debra. Soon, Marie takes over as "Mommy," and Ray realizes that her mothering has tuned him back into a child.

#8 - In-Laws

Debra's pretentious parents meet the Barones for dinner at a fancy restaurant. Tensions rise, and Ray finally explodes, siying that the two families shouldn't be allowed to be in the same state.

#9 - Win, Lose, or Draw

Ray loses $2,300 to Frank playing poker. Debra tells him to ask for the money back, but Ray is too proud to do it.

#10 - Turkey or Fish

Debra wants to cook fish for Thanksgiving instead of turkey and, thinking Marie is hoping she'll fail, goes into high gear to prepare dinner.

#11 - Captain Nemo

The Nemo's basketball team elects Robert over Ray to be captain. Ray is upset, and Debra wonders why he needs to spend so much time away from his family.

#12 - The Ball

Ray is hurt when Frank admits that the signed Mickey Mantle baseball he gave Ray as a child is a fake. Ray swears he'll never lie to his kids. Later, Ally asks if there is a Santa Claus, and Ray struggles for the right answer.

#13 - Debra's Sick

Debra is sick and asks Ray to help with the kids, but he's supposed to have a meeting with Terry Bradshaw. Later, Ally and Michael get sick too and Ray has to take them to the doctor's office, where he has asked Bradshaw to meet him.

#14 - Who's Handsome

Debra introduces Robert to her friend Amy. He makes a date with her, but later becomes self-conscious over his appearance. Ray is shocked when Debra stops just short of saying that Robert is the most handsome of the Barones.

#15 - The Car

Ray buys his dad's old Plymouth Valiant. The car quickly breaks down, and Debra wants to get rid of it, but Ray insists he can fix it. Later, Robert mentions that the Valiant is the car Ray first got lucky in.

#16 - Diamonds

Ray is shocked to learn that the engagement ring he bought for Debra with Frank's help is a fake. He has to snatch her fake diamond, hoping to replace it.

#17 - The Game

When the cable goes out, the family decieds to play Scruples. The game quickly degenerates into a brawl.

#18 - The Recovering Pessimist

Ray wins the Sports Writer of the Year Award, but thinks that all this means is that something bad now has to happen to him. When Frank and Marie are unimpressed, Ray realizes that his pessimism comes from his parents.

#19 - The Dog

A bulldog follows Ray home. He decides to give it to Robert because when they were kids, the family had to get rid of Robert's bulldog because of Ray's allergies. Later, the dog's owner shows up to claim him.

#20 - Neighbours

The neighbours come to Ray and Debra's to complain about Frank and Marie's obnoxious behavior. Frank and Marie arrive during the meeting and get angry with Ray for betraying the family.

#21 - Fascinatin' Debra

Dr. Nora, a phone shrink, comes to interview Debra for a book she's writing. However, she becomes more fascinated with the Barone family than with Debra.

#22 - Why Are We Here?

Debra asks Ray why they ever left their old apartment. Flashback to three years earlier...Frank tells Ray and a pregnant Debra about the perfect house - right across the street from Frank and Marie.